Dude, where's my wand?
by fluffyflapjack
Summary: PG13 to stay safe. Ever seen Dude, where's my car? You're gonna love this.


**Dude, where's my wand?**

****

A.N. : Me and my friend flufflycheesecake made this story, with help from my friend Dog (sorry Kat). :) 

Disclaimer: I don't own dude where's my car? And I don't own Harry Potter so if you sue me I'll sue you back. :p 

Harry put on his glasses. 

Harry: Ron, dude! Get up dude! 

Ron: Dude...... It's like EIGHT O'CLOCK DUDE! 

Harry:Dude where's the checklist? 

Ron:Got it here dude. 

Harry:Go dude! 

Ron:Duuuude!Right! Clean robes? 

Harry:....Ummmmm...yes and no. 

Ron: check!Cookies? 

Harry: duuhhhh! 

Ron:Owl 

Hedwig:Doooooode! 

Ron:Wand? 

Harry:Ummm........ 

Ron:DUDE WAND!!! 

Harry:Dude were's my wand? 

Ron:Yeah dude were's your wand dude!!!!!!! 

(Ron giggles) 

Harry:Dude it's not funny Dude!!!!!!!! 

Ron:Dude weres your wand?????? 

Harry:Dude we should go see Trelawney. 

Ron: Good idea dude! 

Five minutes later........ At the divination classroom....... 

Trelawney: Enter. 

(They enter) 

Trelawney: What do you want? If it's about that report, Mr Weasley, I'm not changing it. 

Ron: No, it's..... 

Trelawney: If it's about that episode withe the bullfrog, I refuse to speak about it. :( 

Harry: No, it's just that..... 

Trelawney: Oh Harry dear! What troubles you? By the way, would you like a lollipop? 

Harry: Sure! 

(Ron elbows him) 

Harry: I mean, I'm here to ask you for help. 

Trelawney: They're fruuuuuiityy ;) 

Ron: Okay, but just one. 

Trelawney: I wasn't talking to you! 

(Ron hangs his head.) 

Harry: I've lost my wand. 

(Trelwaney gasps) 

Trelawney: It's an omen! 

Harry: If you don't wanna help, dude, then..... 

Trelawney: Oh! Right! You'll need to use a crystal ball! You and Ron! 

Harry: All right! 

Harry and Ron: Shibby! 

Trelawney: Ummm.... Yeah. 

Two minutes later....... 

Harry: Dude, what does my ball say? 

Ron: Dude! What does mine say? 

Harry: Sweet! What does mine say? 

Ron: Dude! What. Does. Mine. Say? 

Harry: Sweet. What does mine say? 

Ron: DUDE! WHAT DOES MINE SAY? 

Trelawney: Stop it! You're uncleansing my aura! Yours says dude and yours says sweet! Chocolate frogs! 

Ron: Sorry dude. 

Harry: Yeah. 

Ron: Let's go to the great hall, dude! 

On the way to the great hall...... 

(Harry and Ron are grabbed from behind and pulled into a secret room. There are seven Huffle puffs looking gloomy and dorky as usual.) 

Hufflepuff #1: Do you have it? 

Ron: Huh? 

Hufflepuff # 2: The serial combustion spoon. 

Ron: Huh? 

Hufflepuff # 1: Forgive us, we have not introduced ourselves. I am Spring onion, this is carrot, cabbage, turnip, potato cauliflower and Jeff. 

Jeff: Hi. 

Carrot: We represent our wise and powerful leader Professor Sprout 

Music: DUH DUH! 

(They all make an S-shape with their fingers, Jeff tangles his fingers but gets it in the end.) 

Hufflepuffs: Sprout! 

Jeff: Spr-out! 

Music: DUH DUH! 

Harry: Ummm.... Okaaaaay. 

Turnip:So do you have the serial combustion spoon? 

Ron:Harry do you remember what we did last night? 

Harry:Ummmm..........No dude. 

Ron:So what is this uhh..umm.. 

Hufflepuffs:Serial combustion spoon?... 

Jeff:...Serial combustion spoon? 

(Potato slaps Jeff and shakes his head in a dissapointed manner.) 

Turnip:It's a highly smelly and disgusting object. 

Harry and ron:Aaaannndddd????? 

Turnip:And it's disgustingness is only exceeded by it's smellyness. 

Harry: Riiiiight....... 

Ron: So, why do you dudes want it? 

Spring Onion: We've been intercepting Slytherin messages. 

Harry: Hey, have you guys ever been to Myanus? It's a town you know! 

Spring Onion: Fool! Well, if you find it, let us know. Trust no-one. 

Jeff: Except us. 

Spring onion: Good point, Jeff. 

Ron: Later dudes. 

(Harry and Ron walk a few steps, then head for the Great Hall at a run.) 

On the way there..... (again)......... 

Ron: Dude, what was that all about? 

Harry: I do not know. Whoops! 

(Harry runs straight into Cho Chang.) 

Harry: Umm.... Sorry about that. I'll just have my hands back.... 

(He takes his hands away from Cho) 

Cho: Uhh... Yeah. 

Harry: By the way, have you seen my wand? 

Cho: If you're talking about last night, what you did with that wand was disgusting. 

Ron: But... We can't remember last night. 

Cho: You guys were out of it. Don't you even remember the mushrooms? 

Harry: Er....... 

Ron: We've...... Gotta go! 

(He pulls Harry away with him.) 

Harry: Call me! 

Cho: In your dreams! 

Harry: Is that a yes? 

(Ron pulls Harry round the corner and stands in front of him.) 

Ron: Dude, what was Cho talking about? 

Harry: Cho............. What a lovely name.......... 

Ron: Riiiiiiiiight. 

(Malfoy walks round the corner with Crabbe and Goyle) 

Malfoy: Hey! You annoying Cho? I saw you! 

Harry: What do you care? 

Malfoy: If I see you near her again.... 

(He looks at Crabbe and Goyle) 

All three: Potter bashin' time! 

(Goyle sniggers) 

Malfoy: Shh! Later dudes. 

(Goyle and crabbe pick up a couple of hollow, polystyrene statues used on the set of the film and put them over Harry and Ron's head. They walk away, laughing.) 

Ron: Dude, you just touched Cho's yoo-hoos. 

Harry: Shibby! 

(They bump into a couple of first-year Ravenclaws as they walk away, forgetting to take the statues off.) 

Harry: Sorry, dudes. 

Ron: Sorry. 

They reach the Great Hall, but breakfast time is over. (It's about eleven am) So they go to the crappy school tuck-shop. (It's not mentioned in the film.) Dobby is serving. 

Dobby: Crappy Foooooood how may Dobby help you? 

Harry: Yeah, um. I'd like some Nachos 

Ron: Nachos? 

Harry: Sure dude. 

Dobby: And then? 

Ron: I'd like a meat pie. 

Dobby: And then? 

Harry: Do you want anything else? 

Ron: Coco pops. 

Dobby: And then? 

Ron: That's it. 

Dobby: And then? 

Harry: I don't think you heard us dude, that's it. 

Dobby: And then? 

Harry: Nothing else. Just the nachos and the meat pie. 

Ron: And the coco pops! 

Harry: Oh yeah and the coco pops. 

Dobby: And then? :) 

Harry: No and then! 

Dobby: And then? :) 

Harry: No and then! 

Dobby: And then? :) 

Harry: No and then! 

Dobby: And then? :) 

Harry: No and then! 

Dobby: And then? :) 

Harry: No and then! 

Dobby: And then? :) 

Harry: No and then! 

Dobby: And then? :) 

Harry: I refuse to play you house elf mind-games! 

Dobby: And then? :) 

Harry: You say and then one more time, and I'll come over there and shove Ron up your ass! 

Dobby: ....................... : o...................................... and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then? 

Harry: NO AND THEN MRAAAAAAAAAAGHHHHHHHH!!!!! 

(Harry leans across the counter and attempts to kill Dobby. Just then, Professor Trelawney walks round the corner.) 

Proffessor T: Harry Potter and Ron Weasley! My office NOW! What a day to ruin my karma! 

A.N.: Read the next chapter! Review now! 

You guys: And then? 

Me: No and then! 

You guys: And then? 

Me: No and then! 

You guys: And then? 

Me: No and then! 

You guys: And then? 

Me: No and then! 

You guys: And then? 

Me: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! ~ 


End file.
